How to Gain Confidence
Subliminal software is one of the latest ways of improving self esteem and changing habits and behaviour. Self help has never been so simple...
NLP is a very powerful method of self improvement and self help. You can learn more about this very effective method.
Low self esteem is one of the biggest contributors to shyness. You can raise your self esteem and gain the confidence you need to meet these challenges.
Read more >>
Read more >>
Hypnosis has always been recognised as being one of the most powerful means of change.
Read more >>
The 7 Golden Secrets To Knowing Your Higher Self combines Ancient Wisdom's secrets with strategies of the modern success coaches, like Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Deepak Chopra and others.
Read more >>
By not setting goals, your goal is simply to give up your life to chances and take whatever life happens to you. Does your life have a purpose? Are you living a life by design? We can live our life either by design, or by chance.
Extreme Shyness is an ever-increasing problem, and fostered, many feel by the
technology available nowadays.
Online dating, email, and virtual anonymity are realities in today’s world. For most of us, these are merely conveniences; but for many, these are simply ways to avoid directly connecting to others. You must get self help if you have any hope of gaining confidence.
Shy people are literally ‘in hiding’ from the world. Reaching out and touching someone is terrifying to the seriously shy and socially phobic. Self help is often the best way to deal with extreme shyness.
There’s much less awkwardness when dealing with others via the Internet. No one would see them or hear them; they feel safe.
For many, it’s only in unfamiliar situations that they show symptoms of extreme shyness. They’re perfectly fine in normal situations; they know how to act and what to say.
Anything different throws them for a loop and into a panic. A crowded room becomes a scene of terror for the socially phobic.
The problem is they tend to avoid the unfamiliar at all costs. The more they avoid it, the worse the fear becomes. By not allowing themselves to experience something new, they are in fact perpetuating the fear.
Shyness occurs in different degrees in different people. There are actors who may be bold and self confident on camera, but become shy and soft-spoken when speaking one-on-one with an interviewer.
Some people might be open and comfortable with their own gender, but become absolutely tongue-tied around the opposite sex. There are others who are happy and outgoing with their friends and family, and clam up anytime strangers enter the picture.
Most people attempt to hide their shyness and many may not even appear to be shy, nervous, or ill at ease. However, attempting to hide the shyness does not lessen the suffering it causes. It’s always there, under the surface, no matter how hard they try to hide their misery.
As for what causes extreme shyness, it can vary.
One of the hypotheses is that shyness is at least partially genetic. If your parents were shy, there’s a greater chance you might also be a bit shy and lack confidence.
Another is that it has a great deal to do with the environment in which one is raised. If your parents were very strict and unforgiving, it could cause you to be shy, especially around authority figures.
Extreme shyness can develop in a person’s life after harsh treatment on the part of teachers or fellow students. You may have been laughed at, ridiculed, or tormented by others.
This creates an innate shyness, which is very difficult to rid yourself of later. Each time you find yourself in a similar situation, you may experience the same feelings of anxiety.
Send now for my reports on extreme shyness and learn how to combat this life curtailing condition. You don’t have to continue to suffer from the miserable symptoms of shyness, you really do owe it to yourself to do something about it!
How to gain confidence, is a question I’m often asked. I’ll address this further as the self help site develops.
Self confidence and extreme shyness are inextricably linked, you often find that those people who are least shy also have high levels of self confidence.
Self esteem can be ok in some roles of your life and low in others. Many people assume that self esteem is a constant, it isn’t, for example you can have high self esteem in your chosen sport, and low self esteem as a parent.
Extreme Shyness
Get Self Help
People often ask me how to gain confidence. It’s a complex answer; however confidence is partly based on what you believe about yourself. Your confidence is partially affected by your beliefs. The first step to changing your beliefs is to understand how these beliefs affect your confidence, then to work on changing the ‘self-fulfilling’ beliefs.
It may seem obvious, but you are experiencing the world and feedback from your own actions from the moment you are born. What is less obvious is that each of these experiences, no matter how small has some effect on your internal picture of the world and your place in it. Some of these early experiences boost your self-esteem, while others can have the opposite effect.
Let’s look at an example. Suppose that you knew someone who was in the same physics class as you at school. If you were better than them at this subject, you might assume that you were good at physics. If you were worse than them, you might assume that you were bad at physics.
Once you adopt that belief, you will look for evidence to back it up. For example, if you got 75% in a test, and thought that you weren’t good at physics, then you might focus negatively on the 25% you got wrong. So it’s the focus of your attention that will pull your confidence down in this example.
You will dwell on the result, saying things to yourself like ‘why did I do so badly’ This forms an internal ‘voice’ for a lifetime!
But if you look closely at the example above, you can see that your beliefs are not really based on logical reasoning or common sense. They are false beliefs, they are not built on fact. Yes, you might have been worse than your friend at physics, but your friend might be a genius, or at least excel in this topic, in which case your conclusion and subsequent belief about yourself is misplaced. Or you might be better than your friend at physics, but only because they are absolutely terrible at it. So you see how easy it is to draw the wrong conclusions about your own standards and skills, and subsequently base your estimation of how confident you are based on those conclusions.
Imagine, years later, still believing that you are either good or bad at physics, all because of that ‘genius’ friend who you sat next to in class.
Many of our beliefs about our capability are formed in similar ways. They often have a very weak link to reality. It comes down to our, at times wrong, interpretation.
This explains why two people with the same level of ability can have two different levels of confidence about themselves. They have each chosen to interpret their reality in a different way.
This especially applies to your beliefs about self-confidence. Whether you are confident in a particular area will have nothing to do with your actual abilities but more often your interpretation of previous events in your life. If you can change the interpretation, you can change your confidence.
So when I’m asked ‘how to gain confidence’ my reply usually includes a reference to beliefs. I hope from the example above you can see why this is so powerful in establishing self confidence.